Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
