sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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