if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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