"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
