I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
