If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Two words: blizzard sex
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
