you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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