i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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