I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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