It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
