this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
