He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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