omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
