He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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