Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
