so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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