nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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