try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there was a trapeze. enough said
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
