Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
