I want to walk on stilts...naked
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
