so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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