i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
