Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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