How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
