i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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