WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
