I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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