dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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