His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
