I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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