3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
