I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
