Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
