i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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