Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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