fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize