I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
