why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
