Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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