I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
