Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
