I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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