I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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