Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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