If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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