Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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