all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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