Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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