Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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