You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
