Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
